Back in the Day

Hmm . . . an interesting turn in your story today, dear Strexit, and one I wasn’t expecting.

Each person must decide for himself (or herself, etc.) when, how, and how far to come out of the closet. It is a move which requires courage and determination . . . and doesn’t end with one’s first proclamation of, “I’m gay.” (or bi, or trans, etc.)

For me, now with over 25 years of living openly gay, coming out is still a semi-regular activity. One meets new folks with assumptions who sometimes require a bit of gentle correction. This is particularly necessary when to remain silent about my own identity would imply consent to someone else’s bigotry.

I understand what you are saying about the consequences of online living. The digital world has changed a lot since 1981, the year I received my first 300/600 baud modem and logged into a local BBS. Back then, the biggest risks were: arguments about tying up the phone line, long-distance toll charges, and dying of boredom while waiting for .gifs (of hot guys, etc.) to download. These were scans of still photos; digital cameras didn’t yet exist. Selfies were rare and naked ones even moreso. One had to take photos, carry the film down to the photo-developing studio (usually at the pharmacy), and wait for prints. I didn’t know anybody who could afford a scanner in those early days online. We were thrilled to view whatever prurient images we could.

My persistent virtual presence pre-dates social media; I launched the now defunct, “Eric’s Debaucherous Page O’Plenty” sometime in 1995 and had many related adventures of self-discovery, revelation, travels and real life interactions. It was an early sort of blog . . . though more of a random assemblage than a curated exposition.

I was even fired once (that’s “sacked” on your sceptered isle) thanks to some messy and stupid blogging behavior on my part — so I know your concern is real.

Now, everything is interconnected and information sharing is the default. I walked away from social media completely in late 2015. As my countrymen were becoming ever more unhinged over politics, I needed to distance myself from the discourse for my own peace of mind. I returned, gradually, wading into the shallow end on Quora and then here on Medium.

I’m glad for this space/virtual community of relatively thoughtful readers where we can express ourselves in a thoughtful manner and at a pedestrian pace. But — as you correctly point out — we are never 100% safe from “bad actors” online.

Write under whatever sobriquet allows you to say what you need and want to say. After all, a Brexit by any other name would likely be just as sweet — and helpful to others. Should you choose to come out from behind your laptop, another adventure awaits. Either way, keep calm and . . . Oh, you know the rest.

Here’s a tune:

Your oft-times reader and virtual friendly acquaintance,

E

cc: Gwen, Clay, Sherry, Gloria, BFoundAPen, Fred, Esther, Sam, alto