Member-only story
Happy Container Ship, Inc.
Sailing into your holiday dreams . . .
Quin Xe might have known better. Might have known. Xe had not read the “Operations Guide,” however, as required in section 38.4a of his employee handbook. Then again, nobody at Happy Container Ship, Inc. thought it necessary to translate such drivel into Mandarin. “Cheap, fast shipping means happy customers!” was the company credo. It was a credo its shareholders rode into the 3rd fiscal quarter of 2024 (a most auspicious “US Holiday Season”). They rode it like a fattened sow, its swollen pig-titties spurting profits, the Board of Directors a posse of Sino-cowboys “Yee-Hawing!” all the way East into San Francisco Bay.
Translating the policy documents would not have mattered. Most of the merchant marines from Jilin province were illiterate; Quin Xe was no exception. And so it was Xe, aged 27, pried open the lock on container number 0324-2024–001. His slender fingers moved with a deftness typically found in burglars twice his age. He learned on scores of previous voyages where treasure could be found, troves near-bursting with wares easily fenced or eaten.
Though unable to fathom the written word in any tongue, this sailor cum thief recognized the exotic nature of the lettering on the container’s manifest:
