Nuptials Pwned by Faggots™
(both Uppity and otherwise)
Did you know there is a case regarding discrimination against Queer folks by florists too? Recently, the Washington State Supreme Court ruled against the florists in this case, writing that the issue:
“ . . . is no more about access to flowers than civil rights cases in the 1960s were about access to sandwiches . . . Public accommodations laws do not simply guarantee access to goods or services . . . Instead, they serve a broader societal purpose: eradicating barriers to the equal treatment of all citizens”
That quote above pretty much summarizes everything I believe regarding this matter. You, gentle reader, don’t think I’m going to stop there though, do you?
I’ll risk taking on the mantle of homo-chauvinist by further declaring Queer Supremacy in all matters relating to fabulously celebrating the blessing/curse of betrothal and weddings.
Bigots are working on appealing this flower case, alongside the wedding cake case, to the United States Supreme court.
Of course these are the same people that wear socks with sandals and call it fashion.
Speaking of fashion . . .
Pwning Wedding Fashion
Behold Kate Middleton’s magnificent raiment, made resplendent and radiant by Uppity Faggot™ Alexander McQueen.
You can have one too, for an estimated $434,000 or you might opt for the $200 knock-offavailable on Amazon.com.
My goodness, all of this Faggotry™ has got my disco-finger itching! What to do? Please enjoy this terrific little tea-tune soundtrack while reading the rest of my humble article:
Of course, McQueen isn’t the only gay fashion designer one might trot out to demonstrate Queer domination of the fashion industry. One might also mention: Adolfo, Adrian, Giorgio Armani, Cristóbal Balenciaga, Pierre Cardin, Emilio Cavallini, Phoebe Dahl, Christian Dior, Perry Ellis, Tom Ford, Prince Egon von Fürstenberg, Stefano Gabbana, John Galliano, Jean-Paul Gaultier, Halston, Marc Jacobs, Wolfgang Joop, Michael Kors, Christian Louboutin, Bob Mackie, Isaac Mizrahi,Todd Oldham, Zac Posen, Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Siriano, Kenzō Takada, Valentino, Gianni Versace, Alexander Wang, Jason Wu, or Zaldy, to mention a few.
There are also a number of talented heterosexual fashion designers — just as there are a number of sugar-free candies at the grocery store.
I would estimate these straight fashion designers and sugar-free candy are comparable both in terms of mass-appeal and market-share.
And all the rest . . .
One could go on to make similar arguments about the Queer pwnage of makeup and the tonsorial arts, flower arranging, bakers, chefs, cater-waiters, even wedding music, musicians, and a healthy handful of priests.
(The traditional nuptial march by Wagner notwithstanding . . . she was a hater).
There is really no need to press the point about how thoroughly our people hold the traditionally hetero-normative wedding industry by its dangly silver bells.
The truth found in many gay stereotypes — at least insofar as it relates to our talent for glamor and beauty — is as plain as the highlighted nose on every bride’s face.
If we queers really wanted to make a point, we could refuse to do any hetero-weddings during Pride month which just so happens to fall during . . . oh my goodness . . . June!
Fat chance though, getting us Faggots™ to lay down that much Breeder Wedding-coin in the midst of party season.
We’re much better off finding novel ways to educate ourselves and move the Fickle Fey™ to the polls in November. (Grindr campaign ads? Fort Troff gift certificates in exchange for “I Voted” stickers? Suggestions are welcome.)
In regards to efforts to persuade folks who choose to engage in religious bigotry against our people, “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!” ‘cuz: