image from here, along with a cute story about Sundance

Santa’s Special Package

How does he manage?

’Tis almost among us, that wonderful day
When Santa takes off in his magical sleigh.
And kiddos leave cookies and milk standing by
in Norway and Kenya, and parts of Brunei.

One question I ponder, though, “How does this man,
logistical genius, with such complex plans
and millions of presents for decking the halls,
protect both his sensitive, huge Santa Balls?”

Do boxers and jockeys ride up him, all wrong?
Is he, Ol’ Saint Nick, wearing some kind of thong?
Or G-string like Chippendale dancers, at night,
alone on his marathon holiday flight?

One garment, most special wears he, Santa Clause,
defending his delicate, peppermint balls.
The fit’s not too saggy, nor squinchy or tight;
And dear Mrs. Clause keeps it clean with Woolite,

Some rumors of Santa are false or nonsense.
I’ll tell you no lie and drop all pretense,
Of this fact I say to you, “I’m a believer!
In underwear made of chinchilla and beaver!”