Seamstress for the Band

reflections on fixin’ my britches . . .

image from here

Imagine a boy who never earned a merit badge. How/where else would he learn how to sew?

What happens decades later in the sports bar when the button pops off his pants and lands in the dank and murky waters of the urinal?

Does he fish it out of the porcelain cesspool, and solicit help in its reattachment? If so, must he then reveal the sordid history of the button’s fall? Or — having not learned the value of thrift and self-sufficiency in his youth, does this hypothetical, middle-aged profligate now discard the button-less trousers and buy a new pair?

As I sit and sew this button, I reflect on the timeless, manly values I learned in my youth. I compare and contrast them with another set I learned later coming out as a gay man in the late 80’s and early 90’s. From that winnowing process, I kept the good bits and rejected the toxic ones. I emerged an imperfect but rather fabulous (so I suppose) adult.

Oh, the hidden and complementary benefits of Boy Scouting and Project Runway. Tim Gunn would have made an excellent adjunct Scoutmaster. Like Elton John’s tiny dancer, I imagine carrying a tiny Tim Gun in my shirt pocket. “Be prepared and make it work!”